Your Journey Is Yours- Here Is Mine

Where do I even begin. First I will say, I am generally a healthy person when you compare my symptoms to other people who have struggled with chronic illness their entire life, or have just been diagnosed. I am lucky that I can still exercise and play with my child, for that I am truly blessed. One thing I do know though, is that what pain I feel on a daily basis is not normal, not optimal and I cannot let it continue because of what I know. What I do know is that nutrition heals, proper lifestyle heals, happiness and joy heal. I know this isn’t the end all for most illnesses, but man can it have a profound impact on the course our illness can take on our lives.  

When I was 16 I was in and out of doctors offices trying to figure out why a healthy girl would have purple and grey toes and virtually no blood flow to her feet. I ended up going to the Mayo Clinic to be diagnosed with Raynaud's syndrome, was told I could lose my toes and sent home to tell me that some time in my 20’s I would develop another autoimmune disease, then they sent me on my way.  This catapulted me into exercise because hell no would I lose my toes and I will do all I can to stay healthy, then all I knew was I should just work out. Since 2013 I have been struggling with gastrointestinal issues of many kinds, this was also the year that I lost my period. I wrote both things off because hey, I was young, not having a period wasn’t so bad and I was too busy to work on GI issues that I could “deal with.” Many parasite cleanses later, in 2016 I decided to see a doctor about my GI issues. Still they were perplexed with my symptoms, told me I had IBS and SIBO, put me on an antibiotic and sent me for my second colonoscopy and endoscopy. During this time is when I started exploring the Whole30 and the paleo diet for the first time. I dove right in because I wanted to try anything that could help, and nutrition seemed to be the only thing that did. My energy levels started increasing, but my symptoms were still the same. When I got the news back from my colonoscopy that I had a lot of inflammation in my small intestine, my doctor told me they suspected celiac disease and to stay away from gluten. Then I heard nothing again from my GI doctor. So naturally I am on a gluten free diet while being paleo, so hey, I will just manage this myself like I always do and head on my way! 2018 my husband and I want to get pregnant, so I go to an OB to ask about my lack of a period for so long. Until now, I didn’t really care because it was one last thing to worry about, but if you know the female body, not having a cycle can be very detrimental to not just hormonal health, but also bone and heart health. My OB didn’t seem that concerned, did some blood work and ended up sending me to a fertility clinic that we couldn’t afford. So like I always do, I went on with my life trying to manage this myself. I eat well, I supplement, I don’t “cheat” very often, I don’t drink, I exercise, I see a therapist.. What else do I have to do to feel better!?

Early 2019 my husband and I received the greatest gift we have ever known, Israel James Meadows. Since I knew it was going to be hard for my husband and I to have a child of our own, and really since I was young, I knew I wanted to adopt. Israel James was adopted from our Neighborhood Hope community and has changed our lives forever. Israel brought my heart and my body so much healing, but the symptoms didn’t stop because the underlying issues have never fully been addressed. Now early 2020, I am still struggling with fatigue, chronic diarrhea, no period, blistery red and purple toes, headaches, low blood sugar, terrible stomach cramping and nausea. Israel is 1, my husband and I love adventure,  we run a non profit where my mission is to teach these young women and mothers their worth through proper nourishment of their body and I am trying to build a business where I can do the same as well as educate clients how to heal their own bodies through nutrition. I woke up a few days ago with terrible stomach pain and nausea that made it hard for me to talk and my husband sat me down and said, “Jenny, this is enough. I can’t see you like this anymore.” I broke down crying because in that moment I realized that in my pursuit of others and their healing, I neglected mine, and in neglecting mine I have neglected some of my future with my baby and my husband. I realized in that moment, that is NOT ok. I will not let this take years from my life because those years are years that I would lose from the ones I love with my whole heart, who are my life. So yes, I know a lot about nutrition, I want to know more, but I know enough to say that it does and it can heal. I have seen it! I also know that yes, I have been eating clean for almost 10 years now. The process has been slow (more on my story of why slow worked for me because of my past disordered eating habits to come), but I follow as close to paleo as I can and even my “cheat” meals are paleo-esque. So why can’t I seem to get on top of this? 

I have been toying around with starting a healing protocol to help therapeutically with my symptoms. Many people know that it is hard to, especially in your trade, put yourself on some sort of protocol. It is easier for me to tell people, but when I tell myself I back out in an instant. I needed my husband to come a long side of me like he did, sit me down and tell me that this was something he and Israel needed me to do for them. So right there, I committed. I decided to start journeying down the road towards healing starting with following the Auto-Immune Protocol (AIP). I could jump right in because I am already pretty used to following paleo, and AIP is similar but some more potential inflammatory foods have to be eliminated, which includes, eggs, nightshades, nuts and seeds, peppers and various herbs and spices. I am writing this blog 3 days in and I am proud to say I have taken it day by day and have been following this protocol. My motivation is what keeps me here. Taking it day by day is what keeps me here. The hope that this will help in some sort of way, keeps me here. So here I will stay because not only are Josh and Israel worth it, but this has taught me that I am too.